I haven’t been on a plane before. Not once. People seem surprised by this, but I say “my family was lower middle class. McDonalds was a treat and our vacations were driving an hour away and sleeping in a tent. Then my mom’s boss gave us the first ever pop-up tent trailer to exist! That was cool. And by cool I mean ‘the canvas was filled with holes mice chewed in them.’ Anyway, you can shut up.”
Saturday will be my first time on a plane. I’m going to Atlanta! For work. Having never been on a plane, or in an airport, or near a (commercial flight) airport, I really have no idea what to expect. TV and news has given me a vague ideas about a lot of lines and body scanning and lines and running. Everyone runs through an airport because they’re late in the movies and on TV! I don’t plan on emulating them.
These long, pointless paragraphs lead me to what I’ve learned (and will be referencing until I’m back home): What I’ve been told to expect and what I’ve been told to do at an airport. The first things that I read, linked by my friend Matt, is this blog. It was a very useful read, and aimed directly at me! Awesome!
Here is my list of things that Matt, that blog, and my coworkers have told me:
- Just put everything you don’t need on the flight in your checked baggage. You don’t want to end up having to carry around a bunch of heavy bullshit if you miss your flight.
- Ticket counter does two things: checking baggage and getting your ticket
- Make your checked baggage easy to identify by tying something colorful onto it
- Wear easily removable shoes for the security line, and socks because the floor is gross.
- Don’t step through the metal detector/scanner until security tells you to, even if it’s your turn.
- NEVER leave your stuff unattended. TSA dislikes that.
- Use the bathroom before boarding the plane.
- Seat numbers are on the overhead compartments
- Personal items go under the seat in front of you. Bigger items go in the overhead.
- If you get on the plane last, you don’t have to sit on the plane as long! But also someone has probably taken your luggage spot.
- Ticket counter (Check luggage and get ticket)
- Go to security line.
- Remove shoes and belts and metal and everything from your pockets. Except the boarding pass. Also be sure your ID is nearby the boarding pass.
- Place removed items in a bin! They go through xray
- Go through metal detector/that creepy machine everyone talks about
- Get your shit from the bin
- Leave the screening area
- Put on shoes
- Find gate.
- Chill out
- They load by zone so don’t flip shit and line up before our zone is called. (Higher the number the later you get on the plane.)
- Don’t rush off the plane when you land. It’s like a bus, but slower in some ways because it holds many more people and has many more safety procedures.
- Follow signs to baggage claim and claim baggage
- FOllow my lead and do whatever I tell you to do